His English counterpart Michael Barnes is watching all of this with increasing alarm.
"Typical, coming over here and telling us what's wot, as ee nevar eard of Agincourt?"
Henry Mark V wouldn't have put up with this Tommy Rot,
In school I was more bully than swot but on occasion I did ave a listen to what the teacher was pissin.
I know that my country was once Great and United and what kept it that way was we woz always fighting.
Bending over and getting tickled like Rover isn't going to mean we'll be rolling in clover.
Me and de boyz need to get over there pronto,
we'll kick the door down like the Lone Ranger and Tonto.
Once they've had a talking to by Michael and the twins,
I can assure you we wont be going through their bins
they can keep their foreign muck or we'll have another ruck.
It's Britain First and Jacob Rees Mogg,
"Excuse me I need to find the bog,
you know the toilette, the khazi, the hole in the floor?"
And with that the concierge showed him the door.
Michael and his Bulldog forgot what woz the score.
They flew through the air with the greatest of ease, that ignorant scum on the flying trapeze.
They'd forgotten that they'd taken the lift and were on the sixième étage and that the place marked pissoire was the Emergency Exit.
As the gang navigated the sewers, they were assured a hard Brexit.
The moral of this tale is don't mess with the French or the Germans, the Spanish, the Dutch, the Belgians, Irish and the Italians because before very long we'll be conquered by the Russians.
Back in the bar of the Old Bull and Bush, Michael was eating sandwiches covered in bandages.
The telly is still covering the demise of May & Davis when the UKIP Cathedral Choir interrupt the broadcast for a rendition of
" ave they never eard of Agincourt, when we woz once great and not the world bore"
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