God spoke English you know!

God spoke English you know

for how else would he speak to his flock?

God spoke English you know

but scientists still can't work out 

whether he was Geordie or  

Cockney Sparrow

God spoke English you know

cos a sign from heaven told me so.

It was a sign written all in Welsh.

I thought he's talking in tongues 

and he wants me to work out 

what we must do as humans

God spoke English you know

for how else could he go with the flow

and pretend that he was a bit of a bro

although his brother Allah 

did not speak English you know

Allah had turned his back on all that monoglot crap

so you can imagine at the family re-union

things were not as smooth as they should have been

Humanists & Atheists were all at the windows

pointing their fingers and other such gestures

God and Allah were both in fine dress

and a little voice piped up

"have a game of chess,

that'll decide it once and for all"

so under a glittering disco ball

God and Allah went at it 

There was no sound, no language

It was a brutal affair and at one point

God called for a bandage  

All the followers dressed as sheep

were pawns in this game

and God and Allah

refused to take the blame.

Sweat poured as rain from each others brow

but neither one would take a bow

Checkmate

Stalemate

And they all carried on as before!